Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
