Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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