ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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