I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
