she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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