porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
