dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
