His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
