whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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