Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
