Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
this just has baby written all over it
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
