This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
