is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
