i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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