it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
two words...techno handjob
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
