this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
