so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
