I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
