Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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