I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
