The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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