You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
