I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
