She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I did not marry a roomba.
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