the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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