my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
