There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
