Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
