Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
