buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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