Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
