Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
