I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
