What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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