i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
