we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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