they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
