If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
