So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
