I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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