it wasn't lemon gatorade
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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