This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
