At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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