When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's just like the Real World with babies
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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