if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
