Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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