how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
