I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
