If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
