He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
