The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
