my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
