She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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