would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
