Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
