I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
